Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
