We're like a lot better than the average bears
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
