I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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