My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
