I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
