I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
