I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
