I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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