He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
