I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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