so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
