Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
