She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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