Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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