i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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