Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
