Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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