i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
we're so committed to being not committed
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
