six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I deserve this hangover.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
