dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
