My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
