My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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