You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't turn off my feet"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
