In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
