Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just blew my weed a kiss
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
