I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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