I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize