Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
