At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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