How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
