I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just pee around me
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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