Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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