Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
