He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
