google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Enjoy the penises
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
