Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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