I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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