I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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