Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
