I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize