he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
