just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
