I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
third nipple confirmed
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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