Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
