dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
