i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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