did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish you could order shots online.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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