I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
