let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
40s are totally the cure
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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