So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
