Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
