hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
