Pappa wants mamma naked
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
