sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
In America we eat man semen.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
