I hope mine doesn't look like that
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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