Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
