I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
