He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
