Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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