I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
