time to smoke my breakfast
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize