Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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