is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
