he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
