lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
