so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
