That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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